My husband controls the money. The wife controls the money. They won’t give me money. Some call it financial abuse, others financial bullying. Whatever you call it, here are some tips of what to do when your spouse controls the money.
What to do when your spouse controls the money.
Ask yourself why.
Why does your spouse control the money? Is it because you suck at finances? Do you overspend and not understand? Are they modelling what their parents did? Did you talk about finances before marriage? All of these questions are important. In fact I could fill a page with other questions to ask. Before you get your panties in a bunch about the money ask yourself why does that person do it. Is it out of fear or love? Recently I spoke with someone who admitted they are frivolous with the cash. I pointed out to him that maybe his wife is trying to “protect” what they have built by not allowing him to have free reign of the finances. The look on his face said it all, he knew that if he was in control they would be broke. Sometimes a spouse controlling the money isn’t a bad thing.
Do you openly speak about finances in the house or does it end up in a fight every time? How do you act when you approach the subject of personal finance? It is amazing the stories that we can build up in our own minds when we don’t take the time to check the facts. If the way you try to talk about money is aggressive you risk having your partner shut down or get defensive right away. Do yourself a favor and check out these 3 ways to improve communication about finances with your spouse.
Figure out what you really want.
Are you really ready and want the responsibility of looking after the personal finances? Do you know how to budget? What does your ideal financial relationship look like? Again with the questions, I know! I find in couples there is often one person that really doesn’t want anything to do with taking care of the money. They want to spend it and have it but no interest in figuring out how it works. That is not a healthy relationship with money. What if something happens to your or the other person. How will you deal with the money then? If you or your spouse need help getting clear about what it is you want financially please contact me for your free consultation.
Want to find out if your spouse is a financial bully? Check out this site to find out!
You and your partner can both have a healthy relationship with money. Financial Coaching for Couples will help you to understand each other. You will learn to communicate effectively, create goals individually as well as together and create your perfect financial life. To learn more about Personal Finance Coaching for Couples Click here.